Unmet expectations are the major driver behind most relationships disintegrate… marriage, family, church and employment. And this week we’re focusing on some of the silent expectations that exist between a lead pastor and the team sitting in the second chair.
Today, I want to target this unsaid expectation I feel exists for many lead pastors: “Don’t tell me you know how to do something, if you don’t really know how to do it.”
Let me explain.
There’s an equation I heard years ago at Hillsong Church called The Pump Factor: Enthusiasm > Ability = Injury
As second chair leaders, we always want to come through for our pastors. We want to get the job done, do it well, and give them the world. But what happens when you get in over your head on a project or endeavor? Or, when you’re in a meeting, and being asked if you are able to tackle something new, but really don’t have experience in doing it? How do you handle it?
Too often, I’ve seen leaders (and, again, I’ve been here myself) oversell their experience or expertise in an area, and give their pastor a false sense of security that they actually know to do (and do well) what they’ve been asked to do. It’s almost like we say “yes!” to a project, and then leave the meeting and figure out how to get the job done. While on the surface, this seems like being a confident leader, it’s actually a very poor level of communication.
I’ve found that confident, competent leaders are still people that know when/how to admit, “I’ve never done that before… but I think I can do it… and I’ll give it my best shot.” Full disclosure on this makes your pastor part of the process and the solution, rather than an adversary. I think you’ll find he’s your biggest fan, but just wants you to be honest about your abilities.
More than wanting to see a project or ministry succeed, I believe your pastor wants to see YOU succeed. He is your biggest fan. So, include him in moments of uncertainty or failure.
The worst thing that can happen is he’ll know you’re honest.